Castlevania: Medley of Pandemonium
by CountInfernoStorm
Summary: September, 1972. Dracula is once again made flesh at the peak of Romania's descent into a Neo-Stalinist state. As a show of good faith to the Western powers, the Secretary General requests the assistance of CIA Field Agent Cassandra Morris, daughter of Jonathan and inheritor of the Vampire Killer. (Contains same-sex and poly-romantic subplots)
1. Prologue

Prologue

A pair of blood-red eyes snapped open to the sound of thunder and lightning crashing through the pitch-black skies of Transylvania, Romania on the night of September 6th, 1972. In that instant, their owner knew that he lived once more. It was not a new sensation to him, particularly as the last near-century had seen him restored to flesh several times. However, a distinct pain rang through his body. It was as though he were a newborn infant and a withered geriatric all at the same time.

A deep, weathered voice spoke to him from outside the dark casket which cradled him. "My Lord... Have you truly awakened?"

He pressed the tips of his pale, clawed fingers up against the cover of his coffin, only to discover that he lacked the strength to budge it as much as a centimeter. Hissing, he forced dry, fatigued words from his lips.

"How... long...?"

His presumed resurrector reluctantly replied. "...It has been twenty-eight years since you were slain by the American whelp, Jonathan Morris."

"Mor...risssss... Such an insolent bloodline... Thrice, I have been humiliated by their ilk... Twice revived, only to be struck down within an instant... I can still feel each and every lash of that damnable Belmont heirloom... Every bit of Sara's spite for me that has so seared my flesh and cracked my bones..."

The outside voice gave an amused chuckle. "We will soon see the Clan Morris ended. The blood that I have delivered for your revival is that of Olympian athletes whose lives were ended by religious zealots in tribute to their god."

"Tribute?" He licked his lips, grinning. "How ironic... The blood they shed for their god will nourish a demon... Humanity's hatred begets further hatred, and my hatred for all humanity will envelop the world..."

"The world is a far more miserable place than you left it, my Lord. It is a world in which global superpowers manipulate regional conflicts to pursue their own self-interests in lieu of outright war. They hide behind half-truths and allegations, fearful that their entire civilization could be eliminated from the face of the Earth with a single command. It is your rule, Count Dracula, that the world needs now more than ever."

"And Morris...?"

"Jonathan Morris' life has expired. Several years were subtracted from the old age he might once have enjoyed when he unleashed the full power of the whip to destroy you. He is succeeded by an agent of the American government: His daughter, Cassandra. With your new body, I suspect that you ought to have little trouble dispatching of this weak, foolish girl."

Feeling replenished as the blood of the sacrifices flowed through his veins, Dracula burst through his coffin and gripped the dark priest by the throat with a single hand. Dark circles underlined his eyes, and his thin, white hair draped over his withered face. He could barely see the new ally that he was assaulting in the dim candlelight of his chamber.

"Do _not_ underestimate women! They are not so frail as it seems you believe! If your arrogance leads her to victory, my last breath in this life shall be a curse upon you and your entire lineage!"

Though he couldn't quite make out the dark priest's features, he could feel the pure fear that gripped his heart and rendered his body and mind immobile. Sighing, he released him.

"Go, now. I require one further sacrifice to end the Belmonts and bring this world into my power. Bring me the Morris heiress."

"A-... As you command... my Lord..."

The shivering servant promptly made his way out the door as Dracula rose to his feet, smiling. "Now, then... Whom shall I call upon to entertain my new guest?"

CASTLEVANIA  
-Medley of Pandemonium-


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

September 8th, 1972. A fair-skinned young blonde woman with deep blue eyes and her hair in a stylish side ponytail was sitting at her desk, poring over a stack of documents. Her rounded cheeks were scrunched and her thin, dark eyebrows furrowed. She was having a difficult time masking her stress as long strands of golden hair trapped themselves on her orange turtleneck tee and white jacket.

The massacre at Munich had made things at the CIA a real mess over the past few days. Nobody felt safe, and everyone was on edge. It didn't help matters that the work they were doing felt more like damage control than any actual kind of solution. Of course, Cass had been working there long enough to know that often, fixing the problem had little priority compared to making the public feel like it was fixed. The fact that none of the casualties were American competitors was a small blessing for them, though calling anything about this situation a "blessing" felt disgustingly wrong, and there was no doubt that Nixon was really lighting a fire under their collective ass to do something about this.

Distracted by her work, she failed to notice an older field agent leering at her from across the room. "Hey, mama, why the long face?" he inquired. "You oughta let your hair down a little! You know, loosen up; smile! You gotta think about the future, baby. Ain't no one gonna want to marry a wrinkled old bag."

Cass snapped her pencil in her hand. _Great. No matter the crisis, there's always one of these guys,_ she thought. "Well, gee golly gosh, mister, that sure is some swell advice!" she said, faking a bright, toothy smile. "I don't know how I ever made it to GS-12 - despite the glaring sexism inherent in the system - without your shining example to follow. You must be, what, a senior? Chief?"

Dumbstruck, the agent reluctantly spat out his answer. "J-... Junior..."

"Junior, really? Wow, I never would have guessed, because clearly, you know how to handle my life better than I, your superior, do. Please, do tell me again how much more I'll be worth to a man if I present myself in a particular way."

A portly, mustachioed man emerged from behind an office door. "Morris!" he yelled, "Quit dressing down the new blood and get your ass in here!" Letting out a long sigh, Cass stretched herself out and left her files behind, entering her chief's office.

"Sir, if this is about the slip-up in Morocco, with all due respect, Hassan's still alive, so I think we can chalk that one up as a win."

"Calm your cans, Morris. This is about your next assignment. The General Secretary of Romania's got a problem in his own backyard, and he's requested assistance from us. _Your_ assistance, specifically," the chief grumbled.

"Ceaușescu?" Cass asked. "We can't possibly still be supporting that crackpot after his radical policy changes, can we?"

"We can because we have no choice. After all, he's the one who gave us an in with China, and he's still one of the most valuable allies we have in the Eastern Bloc."

Cass was fuming, trying to keep her temper under control. "So, I just fly over there, give him a little 'Yes, sir, of course, sir,' and turn a blind eye to every basic human rights violation I come across. Is that about right?"

"That's exactly right. I dunno why he was so insistent about it being you, but we can't afford to be turning any more friends into foes, especially not after we've seen the second terrorist massacre in two months. We don't know what our enemies are willing to do anymore."

 _He has a point,_ Cass thought. She had been so preoccupied dealing with the Munich incident that she had nearly forgotten about Argentina. It somehow seemed as though the world was unraveling around her. "Still, how much are we willing to let slide before this guy becomes the next Stalin?"

"Did you forget? We shared a cozy little bed with Stalin for a good long time. Politics ain't never been about what's right or wrong. It's what's convenient."

Cass hesitated. She had spent her life trying to join the CIA because she thought it would help her protect people and end injustice, but more often than not, she seemed to find herself aiding warlords and criminals. She asked herself if she had been born into the wrong time, or if perhaps things had always been like this and all the good versus evil stories were just that: stories.

"...I'll do it... but I have to make a stop in Texas first," she said pensively.

"Texas?! ...Fine, make it quick," the chief bitterly growled out...

September 9th. Cass took a white rental car from the Houston International Airport to her family's estate in the city. The roads were strangely vacant for a Saturday. Perhaps people really were reluctant to leave their homes. As she approached a pristine white manor, she was greeted at the door by a middle-aged woman with lightly graying chestnut hair and a blue and white dress.

"Cassandra Bethany Morris, I haven't seen you in ages! When was the last time you called or even sent a letter?" the woman chided.

"I'm so sorry, Mother. Langley just keeps me on my toes, you know," Cass replied, surrendering. "But I know that's no excuse. After all, the great Charlotte Morris had to deal with _way_ more than that in her day."

"Oh, you know just how to flatter your dear mother. But it doesn't seem as though you're here simply for a visit," Charlotte teased.

Cass explained the situation to her, being as thorough as she could, but occasionally throwing in some of her personal apprehensions and speculations.

"...and it's even stranger just on the tails of Munich, where the autopsy reports mentioned that the victims' blood had been completely siphoned from their bodies."

Charlotte held her hands in front of her mouth, sighing. "If all of that is true, it could definitely mean someone is trying to bring Dracula back to the world of the living... especially if they requested a Morris... If your father were still with us, he might know for certain, but..."

Cass looked over at the chest that laid across from them in their large, lavish living room. "That's it, isn't it...?"

Reluctantly, Charlotte nodded. "The Vampire Killer... The sacred weapon of the Belmont Clan... and the weapon that cut your father's life short and your grandfather's even shorter. If you take it... you could slay any ordinary monsters without reducing your lifespan, but you would be rendered completely helpless against the Count himself..."

Cass gulped. "And... what would it take to... unlock its real power...?"

"How can you even think about that?!" Charlotte snapped. "Your father, only two years ago... H-he never even reached forty-five!"

"It won't matter if Dracula comes to power, will it? If I let that happen, I won't make it to thirty, let alone forty-five. Neither will anyone else."

Charlotte bit her lip, shaking. Every time she remembered the pain Jonathan endured after using that whip, it gave her chills. Still, seeing Cassandra now, she saw the same determination that had been in his eyes when they had fought against Brauner, Death, and Dracula all those years ago.

"The ritual... needs to be performed by a member of the Lecarde bloodline..."

"Well, then, we just need to phone Aunt Stella or Aunt Loretta, don't we?" Cass asked.

"It's not that simple. I want to send them with you so they can perform the ritual before your final confrontation then and _only_ then, but... we haven't heard from Loretta in years, and Stella is in no condition to travel overseas. She does have a daughter, but-"

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Cass got up from her seat, saying, "I'll get it, Mother." She walked to the front door and opened it. Leaning against the railing leading up the stairs was a petite young woman with long and curly purple hair and disinterested icy blue eyes. She was loudly and obnoxiously chewing gum.

"Hello, this is the Morris Estate. Can we... help you?" Cass inquired, quirking a brow.

"Yeah, the name's Blanche Lecarde. Mom sent me here 'cuz of one of her premonitions. So I guess I'm supposed to, like, help you kill a vampire or whatever?" the young lady postulated in a nasally voice.

Cass was unamused. She closed the door without saying a word.

Charlotte immediately rose up from her seat and stormed towards the door. "Cassandra Morris, don't you dare be rude to our guest!"

" _I'm_ rude? Did you _see_ her?"

"Blanche has her... quirks, to be sure... but she's the only one who can help you," Charlotte insisted as she reopened the door.

"Hey, Auntie Charlotte. Your maid's kind of a bitch. You oughta fire her," Blanche suggested.

"I'm terribly sorry. You see, this isn't my maid. This is my daughter, Cassandra, whom I know for a fact was taught manners by her father and I, but for reasons beyond my reckoning, it didn't seem to take."

"Yeah, hi," Cass said with sarcastic courtesy.

Blanche carelessly let herself into the house, shoulders slumping. "So, like, where's the whip?"

Charlotte pointed to the chest. "Right in there, but it isn't ready for the ritual yet. You're to perform it before Cassie's final confrontation and not a moment before, meaning I'll need you to travel to Transylvania with her."

Cass grumbled in her head, _This is an international incident waiting to happen. And I swear I've asked you a million times not to call me Cassie, Mom._

"So basically, pop on over to Romania, beat down a buncha creepy creeps, and then soup up the whip. Gotcha, sounds like a snap. Like a whip snap! Do ya get it?! Huh?!" She loudly cackled at her own pun.

Cass groaned, hiding her face in her hands. _You know, Dracula, if you want me dead that bad, now's the perfect time..._

Cass and Blanche were sitting next to each other on the plane outbound for Romania, despite Cass' repeated insistence on separate seating. She ground her teeth as Blanche smacked her gum in her mouth.

"Look, this ain't exactly a picnic for me either, princess," Blanche assured her. "I had to cancel five dates for this crap."

"Five? We're only supposed to be there for about three days tops," Cass said, confused.

"Yeah, I know. I like to play the field. Just 'cuz I'm a Lecarde doesn't make me a damn nun, ya know."

Cass shook her head, sighing. She could hardly believe she was thinking it, but between her irritating partner, the Vampire Killer uncomfortably holstered over her gun, the backpack full of ancient relics she was holding on her lap, and the body armor chafing her in her seat, she could hardly wait to arrive in Romania and get off the plane.

It was then that a baby started to cry behind her. _Great._

Blanche held the packet of gum out to her. "Want a stick?"

Sighing, Cass begrudgingly took one and popped it in her mouth. "...Thanks."


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

September 10th, 1972. In the dead early morning, Cass and Blanche emerged from their gate and wandered around the arrival terminal at the Bucharest Henri Coandă International Airport, stretching their limbs as much as they could following the thirteen hour flight. There were bags under both of their eyes, as although the trip had taken them through the night, it had afforded neither of them a wink of sleep. They looked around for Nicolae Ceaușescu.

"So, this guy's, like, the head honcho of Romania, right? What's he like?" Blanche inquired.

"Um... A monster, basically," Cass answered, struggling to keep her eyes open.

"Oh... Why're we working with him again?"

"Politics. You know, you scratch my back, I scratch yours. You have political dissidents executed in private, I look the other way. It's a dumb little game we all play so we don't nuke each other into oblivion."

"Huh... I don't know if I'm okay with that game."

"Well, we're already here, so like it or not... we're here."

A large, statuesque, bespectacled man in a black suit with a squared jaw and slicked-back gray hair approached them, surrounded by a small security force. He looked to be in his mid-60s. His thin eyes had a dull, gray appearance. Looking down at them, he spoke in a deep, scratchy voice.

"I presume by your candid manner of speaking that you are Cassandra Morris. And who might be this enchanting comrade you have brought with you?"

Blanche let out a sharp, dismissive "HA!" as she stuck another stick of gum in her mouth. "I'm flattered 'n' all, but I don't exactly dig the undertaker look. But if ya gotta know, the name's Blanche Lecarde."

The man suddenly seemed to be repressing a grin. "Ms... Lecarde, is it? I am terribly sorry that the Secretary General could not be here today. He is a very busy man, so he has sent me in his stead. I am Felix Vladimirescu. If you will come with me, I shall show you to your lodgings."

As they followed, Blanche whispered to Cass, "Vladimirescu? Say, Cass, you don't think-"

"There're a lot of Vladimirs in Romania, Blanche. We can't afford to jump to any conclusions..."

It wasn't long after their release from the cramped and crowded plane that the two Americans found themselves on a cramped and crowded train.

"So, how long is it from Bucharest to Transylvania, anyway?" Cass asked.

"Somewhere in the neighborhood of five hours," Felix answered.

"Aw, crap... Well, nap time!" Blanche exclaimed as she let her head fall onto Cass' shoulder and almost immediately conked out. Cass blushed lightly.

"Heh... I guess she is kind of cute when her mouth isn't moving."

Felix smirked, adjusting his glasses. "Well, then... Judging by that whip at your waist, I suppose that you have already correctly surmised the reason for your assignment here."

Cass exhaled heavily. "If I'm being honest, I was about 50/50 on it. I figured the chance was good enough that it did have something to do with that, so I came prepared."

"I can see that. What is that armor you are wearing?"

"This?" she said. "It's real top-of-the-line stuff. They just invented it last year. It's called Kevlar. Almost as light as leather, but five times stronger than steel. If Richter Belmont'd had this stuff back in the 1700s, old fangface probably would have bitten the dust for good."

"Kevlar, you say? It sounds like something out of one of England's fantasy novels."

"Well, this is a prototype model of the Kevlar armor. It's never been tested in a combat situation, so you might consider this its first field test. Granted, my superiors don't necessarily _know_ that it's being field tested, but... well, they are looking to mass-produce these things by 1980, so it's gotta run the gauntlet sooner or later."

Felix laughed. "You are certainly not shy about speaking your mind, Ms. Morris. I anticipate that our dear friend, the Count, will have his hands quite full dealing with such a willful woman as yourself."

Cass grimaced a bit at the backhanded compliment. "Thaaaanks..."

After hoisting their luggage a significant distance from the train, eventually, the group came upon the Villa Hotel Escala, which was a small, homey-looking inn. After signing them in, Felix turned to face them.

"Consider this your home away from home for the duration of your stay. I imagine that after your lengthy voyage, you both could do with rest."

Cass looked over at Blanche. "I don't know, I think one of us got pretty well rested."

"Actually, I could stand another snooze," Blanche answered.

Felix chuckled to himself. "Well, once you have properly refreshed yourselves, I recommend that you make your way to the castle. The Count will be most active at night, so you must act with haste."

"Of course, Mr. Vladimirescu," Cass said. "I think you'll find that my partner and I are the very definition of efficiency, professionalism, and grace..."

The time was 6 PM, and Cass and Blanche were splayed out across their bed, snoring loudly. Cass' arms were hanging off the left side as Blanche's head hung off the front, her hair trailing down onto the floor. Gradually, as Cass shifted, Blanche slid off the bed until she bumped into the floor headfirst.

"Owww... Cass, what'd ya do that f-... Oh. I'm upside down."

Cass tossed and turned, grumbling. "Mrmm, but I don't want the chicken sushi, Mama..."

Blanche held herself back from laughing. Smirking, she got back onto the bed and leaned down, stealing a kiss from Cass' lips. The agent's eyes snapped open, her face turning bright red. She pushed Blanche away and scrambled to her feet.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" she yelled.

"Sleeping Beauty needs a kiss to end her long slumber, don't she?" Blanche joked, laughing.

"YOU ARE THE FARTHEST POSSIBLE THING FROM PRINCE CHARMING!"

Blanche stuck her tongue out at her. "Hey, yer awake, ain'tcha? And look, it's gettin' dark, so I'm thinkin' we get a move-on."

Cass huffed, still blushing as she re-tied her hair and put on her body armor. She took a second Kevlar vest out from her bag. "Here, put this on."

"You stole two of these?"

"It's not theft if it's in the pursuit of justice. It's... re-appropriating," Cass reasoned.

"That sounds like a big fancy word for stealing," Blanche said as she put the vest on.

"You're welcome, Blanche. I'm glad you recognized that I took consideration for your survival."

After gathering all of their supplies, Cass and Blanche made their way out the door. As they made their way in the direction of the large, dark castle overlooking a cliff, Cass' hand gripped the handle of the whip at her side.

"Let's go... Castlevania beckons..."

Blanche scratched her head. "Ya know, I never heard anyone actually call it that outside of books. Sounds weird."

"Okay, but that doesn't change the beckoning."


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Cass and Blanche were miles beyond the city limits. The further they got from civilization, the more ominous and dilapidated the surroundings seemed to become. Blanche kept close to Cass, shivering a bit.

"Hey, Cass, um... I'm startin' to get second thoughts here... M-maybe if we leave him alone, Dracula will just, like... get bored...?"

Cass scoffed. "Hard to believe I'm listening to the grand-daughter of the brave Eric Lecarde here."

"Of course Grandpa was brave!" Blanche protested. "It's easy when you're hoistin' around a big honkin' spear! Look at me, I got a rock that I picked up off the road! Thing's good for one, maybe two uses!"

Cass let out a small chuckle. "Put the rock down, B. I think I've got something a little more confidence-inspiring for you." She unholstered the pistol in her belt and placed it gently in Blanche's hands. "This is a Beretta 70. It's not the newest model with all the bells and whistles, but it's served me well. She's been custom-loaded with silver ammunition that'll stop any creature of the night dead in its tracks." She unloaded the magazine and showed the top bullet off to Blanche. "See the ring around the tip? Pressure sensitive. As soon as it enters the body, it releases a tiny reservoir of holy water inside. This thing is an undead nightmare's _worst_ nightmare."

Blanche gave Cass a bewildered look. "...You had time to painstakingly craft custom bullets before you got on the plane?"

"No, of course not! I made these babies ages ago in case something like this came up."

"Uh-huh... But didn't you say you were only 50% sure this had anything to do with Dracula?"

"Well, worst case scenario, I'd wind up having to shoot some humans with it, but hey, a bullet's a bullet."

Blanche took the gun in her right hand and pointed it straight at a road sign. Cass put her hand on Blanche's, shaking her head. "That's a good stance if you're looking to snap your elbow out of place, but let me show you a better way."

She walked around behind Blanche, maintaining hand contact. She then took her left hand, brought it up to the other side of the grip, and adjusted the position of the pistol ahead of Blanche's face. Blanche blushed lightly as she felt Cass' breath on the back of her neck.

"You want to make sure your dominant eye is aligned with the aim of the gun, but you also have to brace it with both hands. Fire it one-armed and the recoil will pull it up and over to the open side. There's ways to compensate for that, but you're safer playing it straight. Adjust your thumbs' positions so they don't get in the way of the slide lock and aren't burnt by the gas chamber when you shoot, and square your legs like this." She reached down and guided Blanche's legs into position with her hands. Blanche's face went a little more red. Cass unfastened the holster belt from her hips and wrapped it around Blanche, securing it. She then stepped away.

"Good. Now, I want to see you holster it and draw it in that exact position twenty times."

"Twenty times?!" Blanche whined. "Do we really have that kind of time?"

"Well, we could always rush in unprepared and die. Does that sound better?"

Blanche groaned. She began repeating her draw, having to start over everytime Cass pointed out a flaw in her stance.

"Made it to sixteen that time. Not bad, but you can do better," Cass observed.

"Wouldn't it be easier for the one trained with the gun here to use the gun?"

"I've got the whip here, and I'm the only one who can use it, so that's what I've gotta do. You can do this, Blanche. You've made a lot of progress in an unbelievably small amount of time. Besides, you're a Lecarde, aren't you? If your grandpa could see you now, I know he'd be proud."

"C-Cass..." Blanche could feel her heart pounding out of control and her face burning. Trying to calm herself, she positioned herself and began her repeat draws once again. Finally, she made it to twenty without any error.

"See? You're a natural! You handle the shooting, I'll handle the whipping. Oh, and... you might want this." She approached her and slid the magazine back into its chamber. "Ten shots in each mag. Try to remember how many you've got left at all times."

"Gotcha!" Blanche exclaimed, smiling...

Their expedition soon took them to the ivy-laden gate that stood between them and Castlevania. Steeling herself, Cass took Blanche's hand and stepped through the entrance. Almost as soon as they entered, a rusted steel gate slammed shut behind them.

"Well, that's reassuring. So much for getting back to our 'home away from home,'" said Blanche.

"Well, it's not as though there would've been much point in heading back now that we're here. Besides, it just makes it easier for me to justify not running away," Cass replied.

"Wait, you gave me all that hassle when you were scared, too?!"

Cass laughed. "Are you kidding? I'm terrified beyond reason! I just don't have the luxury of acting on it. Honestly, trying to help you get past your fears kind of helped me get past mine."

"Heh. Okay, I kinda get that. But also-" Blanche slapped Cass in the back of the head. "Don't ever lie to me again, we clear?"

"Ow!" Cass exclaimed, rubbing her head. "Crystal..."

When she looked up, she saw that several human figures with dead white eyes and rotten flesh were approaching them, and still more were emerging from the ground.

"...They all came while we were indulging in witty banter, didn't they?" Blanche asked.

"Almost definitely yes. So, zombies exist. Of course, so does _this!_ " Cass grabbed the Vampire Killer by the handle and began to whip it about, decapitating a large number of their shambling foes with the force of her strikes.

"Y-yeah! Time to deliver some holy justice!" Blanche yelled as she drew her pistol and pulled the trigger.

There was a click, and then silence. Cass sighed. "Okay, it works better if you take the safety off, but that one's my bad."

Blanche's body trembled as she kept pulling the trigger to no avail. The zombies continued to close in on them, Cass holding off as many as she could with her whip.

"Blanche! The thumb lever on the back of the slide lock!" Cass pleaded, but Blanche seemed to be deaf to it.

Suddenly, a cross-shaped boomerang tore through several of the walking corpses, reducing them to piles of flesh and bone. A well-built young man in a stylish blue and black overcoat jumped down from the roof of an abandoned shack, catching the cross as it returned to his hand. As he walked toward them, they were able to make him out. His skin was white as snow. He had long, luxurious red hair and fine features that framed his bright green eyes and long, dark lashes. He began to speak in a fair tenor voice.

"Go home, Americans. Romania is not another problem you can solve like Vietnam or Laos. How are those turning out for you, by the way?"

Cass was having trouble picking her jaw off the floor and getting her words together after seeing him. Blanche, however, had finally managed to recompose herself and had a few choice words.

"Listen, pal, we appreciate the save, but in case you ain't noticed, that's the legendary Vampire Killer my gal Cass is holdin'! You can't give her that kinda lip! Ain't that right, Cass?!"

"B-... Beautiful..." Cass mumbled.

"Alright, clearly, she's in a daze from all the zombie smashin' she had to do before your pasty ass got here, but if she were right in the head right now, she would verbally destroy you."

The young man chuckled to himself. "Clearly. But perhaps her mind would be in a more capable and ready state were her ally even semi-competent with her weaponry."

"You aren't allowed to talk to us like that! We're only allowed to talk to each other like that! Who the hell do you think you are, anyway?!"

"My name is Andre Belmont, and you have something that belongs to me."


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"B-Belmont?!" Cass snapped out of her infatuation-induced trance at the sound of the name. "It's an honor to meet you! I've heard so much about your ancestors and- Wait, wait, wait, what do you mean 'something of yours?'"

Andre glared. "You know very well what I mean. The fabled Whip of Alchemy, the Vampire Killer. The very same whip you were gracelessly slinging about moments ago."

Cass quirked a brow, selectively ignoring that last comment. "What I meant was, didn't you know about the enchantment on this whip? It'll be another twenty-seven years before a Belmont can use it again without... you know... kcccchhhht!" She drew a finger across her neck.

"I know of no such enchantment. It must be an American fabrication. You Westerners are all the same. It doesn't matter if it's nuclear armaments or ancient holy weaponry, you have this concept that if it isn't in your hands, it's in the wrong hands. Even the weapon you've given this foolish girl seems to be some sick American perversion of the sacred water."

"Technically, the gun's Italian..." Cass muttered.

"You know what?" Blanche interjected. "Maybe we should just let 'im take the whip. Y'know, let him see for 'imself if the curse's phony."

"Blanche! He's a Belmont!" Cass argued.

"Yeah, and he's also a royal pain in the ass! Are you gonna let 'im talk to ya like that?"

Cass huffed. "I remember you saying worse when we first met not forty-eight hours ago."

"Y-yeah, but...! I mean, it's been a long day, and our friendship's struck a fast and wonderful metamorphosis!"

"Don't waste your breath," Andre interrupted. "Your friend is an agent of the same corrupt government that shakes hands with the tyrant who terrorizes our people. Friendship means nothing to them. She would sell out her own parents if it meant saving face for her country."

"Don't you _dare_ talk about my parents like that!" Cass furiously shouted. "Listen here, buddy! I don't care whose bloodline you came from! The fact is, my mother and father risked their lives to put a stop to Dracula when there was no Belmont in sight to do it for them, and it cost my dad his golden years! We Morrises may not have been destined for this whip, but when we swing it, we're doing it not just to protect the world, but to protect the _Belmonts_ , no matter how ill-mannered, inconsiderate, and foul-tempered the Belmont in question might be! Whether I like it or not, I have a duty to make sure your genes still exist for another few decades, so I can either break your legs and leave you somewhere safe, or we can do this the easy way and you can _shut the hell up!_ "

Andre stood in silence, shocked.

"Wow, Cass, I think ya broke him," Blanche said with an amused smirk.

"Turn around, you fools..." Andre whispered.

The moment they turned around, they were greeted by the sight of a gargantuan spider crawling towards them. Apart from its size, however, the creature was unique in the sense that its exoskeleton seemed to be made entirely out of living human-like faces.

"EATING WILL MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY!" the faces screamed as the spider leapt towards them. The three dodged out of the way, running around the convulsing monstrosity.

"Unholy guacamole, that's a lot of faces!" Blanche yelled as she took aim and fired five successive shots into five different faces. She ducked and rolled away as it scuttled around and stabbed a leg towards her, wailing.

"SO EMPTY! NEED TO BE FULL!"

Andre tossed numerous crosses into its tortured visages. "It would seem Dracula created this monster from an artist's mindset! Its entire existence is a subtle critique of the human tendency to compensate for emotional pain with simple comforts!"

"Subtle?!" Cass said as she lashed her whip across the abomination's spindly form. "It's practically bellowing its mission statement from the pits of its lungs!"

"Bad face spider!" shouted Blanche. "You lack nuance!" She took five more shots, shattering five of its eight legs. It fell over onto its back, its remaining legs squirming in the air as its heart pumped intensely through the soft area beneath its abdomen.

Cass struck the heart repeatedly with her whip until the creature stopped struggling, its legs falling limp and hundreds of eyes fading, showing no signs of life.

"Man, what a waste," Blanche said. "It didn't even shoot any webs."

"And you wanted it to?" Cass asked with a disturbed look. Blanche answered with a simple shrug.

Andre grunted as he pulled his crosses from the oversized arachnid's corpse. "Well, Ms. Morris, perhaps your technique with the whip is not so flawed as I had once thought. I suppose that I can entrust it to you... for now..."

"It's... Cassandra. Or Cass, if you prefer," she corrected, blushing lightly.

"Hey, what about me?" Blanche asked, pouting.

Cass giggled warmly. "You were great, Blanche. We couldn't have done it without you." She approached Blanche and kissed her forehead. Blanche immediately felt the blood rush to her face...

The trio soon made their way across the courtyard and through the entrance to the castle's grand foyer. Elaborate and spacious as it was, it was also a mess of dangerous pits and rubble populated by vicious monster bats, wargs, and (unsurprisingly) further zombies.

"So, stop me if you've heard this one," Blanche spoke up. "A Morris, a Lecarde, and a Belmont walk into a castle-"

"Don't," Cass interrupted.

"We must be cautious," Andre warned. "The Hell House is an entity in its own right, and there is little telling what sort of treachery its dark master may have concocted for-" He was cut short as he fell through a crumbling floor. Cass and Blanche rushed over, watching their step.

"Andre! Are you okay?!" Cass yelled.

"Urgh... No permanent damage," he responded. "I could use a lift, however. Perhaps if you would lower your whip-"

"Nice try," Cass answered with a wry smile.

"It was worth a try."

He made his way to the stairs back up to the main level. As he walked, several sahuagin jumped from the torrent of water beneath his feet, ready to strike at him with their tridents. Before their attacks could land, however, he tossed a single cross which circled through the lot of them and tore them asunder, returning to his hand once its job was done.

Cass looked down, watching as he wiped out his assailants with a dreamy gaze.

"Uh, Cass, remember how we're _also_ surrounded by monsters?" Blanche reminded her as a warg jumped at them.

Cass whipped her hand back and lashed the warg and five bats into dust while still observing Andre. Blanche sighed. "Alright, forget about that. Remember how only moments ago, you were _justifiably_ chewin' him out? All that stuff ya said? Still true."

"I think he got the message. He's a Belmont, right? We can trust him."

Blanche fumed. "If he gets us killed, I'm puttin' such a curse on him."

"You can't curse people."

"Ya never know 'til you try, do ya?"

They rendezvoused with Andre at the top of the stairs leading up from the waterway. As they proceeded deeper into the halls of the castle, they were greeted by the sight of what seemed to be a minotaur with a werewolf's body hoisting a hefty halberd.

"A were-... minotaur?" Cass observed. "Drac must really be running out of ideas."

The were-minotaur spoke up in a deep, snarling voice. "Actually, I'm a regular minotaur who got bitten by a werewolf. It's my bad, really. I walked into his den, and you know, I wasn't even supposed to be there. Anyway, apparently, this is what happens."

"Oh, sorry to hear about that," Blanche said. "You know, if you just let us move on, we won't do anything to hurt you."

"Yeah, I guess that's a thought," the were-minotaur pondered. "But you see, I'm _really_ loyal to Lord Dracula, and I also really like eating human flesh, so, um... I think I'm gonna smash your heads open and rip the meat from your bones instead. It just seems like a better plan from where I'm sitting."

Without waiting, he dashed towards the group, sweeping his halberd as they ducked down to dodge it. Blanche ran around him and pulled out her gun, loading a new magazine into it and firing three shots. As the were-minotaur turned around, one shot hit him in the shoulder, but he managed to block the next two with his blade. "Hey, that's a pretty neat trick!" he observed. "I bet your brains are gonna taste great!"

From behind, the Vampire Killer wrapped around his neck. Cass pulled hard, growling at him. "Get the hell away from her, you bastard!"

"Hey, that hurts!" the were-minotaur cried. "I mean, literally, this is really painful! Come on!"

Andre took a pouch from his belt and took a pile of sacred ash from it, tossing it at him. The were-minotaur's back burned as he struggled and broke free of the whip, turning around to slash them. Deftly, Cass drew three daggers from a strap on her boot and tossed them directly at their attacker, one striking him in the chest, one in his throat, and one piercing the center of his forehead. The were-minotaur's eyes went milky white as he sank to the ground.

"Okay, so..." he strained himself to say, "that whole 'eating you' thing... Another time, then...?" He slammed into the ground face-first, the dagger pushing all the way through the back of his skull.

Blanche approached the body and grabbed the halberd, lifting it over her shoulder. "Huh, this thing's surprisingly light." Cass and Andre shot her awkward looks. "What? It's not like _he's_ using it anymore."


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

In the dark chamber suspended by a single passage of stairs overlooking the entirety of Castlevania, Dracula peered through his window down upon his surroundings. The man whom had revived him knocked upon his chamber door. "Come in," the Dark Count demanded.

The man entered, his face still obscured by darkness. Not that it mattered, as Dracula cared little how he appeared so long as he served his needs. "The Morris girl has entered the castle, my Lord," his servant informed him. "She has brought with her the successor to the Lecarde bloodline, and it would seem... that a Belmont has joined them, as well."

"I am aware of that which happens within my domain," Dracula bitterly answered back. "What I am not aware of is why, if you had intended to bring Morris to me as a meal, you have allowed her to join with two other successors to those whom have ended me in the past."

"I-it was beyond my foresight, my master, but I assure you, they will pose you little threat. The Lecarde girl is a typically lackadaisical American commoner, and the Belmont? No more than a disgraced missionary. I see this as a wonderful opportunity for you, Lord Dracula! A chance to erase the future of all three families and in doing so, remove each and every obstacle standing between you and absolute power!"

"Let us hope... for your sake... that you are correct..."

Nervously, the dark priest exited the room. Once he was gone, a dark specter materialized within Dracula's chamber. It wielded a large, deadly scythe and possessed a skeletal visage.

"These mortal followers can be such a terrible inconvenience," he said in a chilling voice. "Driven by such petty earthly motivations... Shall I continue to monitor him?"

"Do as you wish, Death," Dracula answered. "The Lord of the Night cares little for the political rationales of men, and in time, he shall learn this lesson in a most harsh manner..."

The three slayers soon found themselves within the inner workings of a clock tower. Ladders and catwalks were few and far between. The entire height of the place was dotted with suspended platforms and occasional stairs.

"How the hell is anyone supposed to get around in this stupid place?" Cass asked.

"Somehow, I believe that to be the general point," observed Andre.

Blanche examined the area above them. "Hold onto that thought," she said. "It's a little crazy, but... ya see the size o' them gears 'n' cogs? I bet if we rode 'em, we could make it between each platform!"

Andre grimaced. "Ride... the clockwork...? Are you daft? Who in the history of human intelligence would ever do anything so utterly mindless and suicidal?"

"Actually... it's completely crazy, but she might be onto something," Cass interjected. She leapt onto the moving cog in front of them and jumped off once she neared the platform on the other side. "Come on, guys! It's a lot easier than it looks!"

Blanche made the jump, carrying the halberd on her back in a harness she had stolen from the were-minotaur. Andre groaned as he saw her join Cass on the platform.

"Clearly, I was mistaken about the both of you. You aren't immoral, you're simply insane," Andre remarked as he reluctantly followed their lead. They soon found themselves leaping from cog to cog in an attempt to reach the top. Their efforts were soon punished by feminine disembodied heads wreathed with snakes screaming through the air in their direction.

"Confounded Medusa Heads!" Andre shouted as he tossed his crosses at them.

"Medusa Heads?" Cass inquired while whipping them apart. "I thought Medusa was just the one specific creature, the Queen of the Gorgons. Shouldn't they be Gorgon Heads?"

"Does it really matter right now?!" Andre snapped back.

"Stand back!" Blanche yelled. Cass and Andre jumped to opposing platforms as she drew the halberd from her back. Jumping up, she span it in a circle over her head and slashed through the crowd of heads that had amassed around her, letting out a rowdy bellow.

"HA! _Damn_ , that felt good!" she exclaimed as the three of them reunited.

"How in the world did you do that?" Andre asked.

"'Cuz I'm a freakin' Lecarde!" she boasted as she sheathed her weapon once more.

"Having fun with that adrenaline high?" Cass asked.

"You bet yer hot little ass! I-I mean your regular ass! Your completely nondescript ass that I've never taken notice of and never will! I... I'm down from it now..." She and Cass looked away from each other, both blushing.

As they neared the top, three winged harpies soared from the shadows to strike at them. Cass wrapped her whip around the talons of one, then slammed it into another. Andre polished off the single straggler with his cross.

They stepped off from a large rotating cog to one final platform leading to a door. They opened it and wandered through a small hallway into a large, simple chamber filled with marble columns. Floating in the air before them was what appeared to be a cloaked skeleton gripping a razor-sharp scythe. It let out a cold laugh as it saw them.

"Death..." Cass presumed at the sight of him.

"Your feeble efforts have not escaped my notice, mortals, nor have they eluded the lord of this castle. If we so wished, we could have ended your quest the moment it began, but something about seeing the three legendary bloodlines bicker and quibble amongst themselves amused us. Belmont, Morris, Lecarde... It matters so very little. In the end, you are just as human as anybody else, and it will be your paltry squabbles that bring about your inevitable end."

"Bring it, bone breath!" Blanche yelled, drawing her halberd once more.

Andre stepped forward. "That's right! Death or not, we'll do to you as we've done to those Medusa Heads!"

"Gorgon Heads," Cass corrected.

"...As we've done to those _Medusa_ Heads," Andre insisted. "So show us your worst!"

Death gave another laugh, an eerie sensation permeating the room as he did so.

"My worst? You barely merit my most generous. It is far too early to end our little game, dear hunters, and you still have so much further entertainment to provide us. I will leave you with one of my little... pets. Do try not to die, won't you?"

Death cackled as he faded into the shadows. A pool of darkness quickly began to form in the center of the chamber, and from it, two scaled humanoid arms with clawed digits emerged and dug into the ground. The creature that pulled itself up with these arms seemed to be a snake with a female humanoid body and tiny human heads and necks as its "hair."

"Freaky..." said Blanche.

"What is it, some kind of Reverse Medusa?" Cass pondered.

"Do you not mean 'Reverse Gorgon'?" Andre teased.

Cass grunted as she rolled out of the way of large beams of light that shot forth from the eyes of the human heads. "Look, you-!"

Her objections were interrupted by the sound of Blanche firing three shots into the Reverse Medusa's torso. "Guys! This kinda crap is exactly what Death wants! I ain't been too great about it, myself, but if we wanna make it through tonight, I'm thinkin' we get our act together and start workin' like we ain't all tryin' to outsmart each other!" She holstered her gun and brought out the halberd once more. "We're the only friends we got here, so it's time to start actin' like it!"

Blanche charged at Reverse Medusa, tossing the weapon directly at her. It struck the snake demon through the chest, but not before it let off several more beams of light which struck Blanche directly. Before she even had time to register the attacks, her entire body had transformed to solid stone.

 _"BLANCHE, NO!"_ Cass' cry echoed through the black night...


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Cass was clinging to the now-petrified Blanche, her tears running down her friend's stone body. Andre approached her from behind, gently placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I had thought Westerners devoid of compassion... But Blanche... She must have known what might result from this... To think that in order to protect us from our pettiest instincts, she would do such a thing... I am truly sorry..."

Cass sniffled. "She really is... a freakin' Lecarde through and through..."

Andre stepped back, pacing about. "For those afflicted by the stone gaze... There is a cure, though I know not if such means exist within the walls of Dracula's Castle, and if they do, we will have to act quickly."

Cass rubbed her eyes, turning around. "I'll do it. However crazy or desperate it is, if there's even the smallest chance of getting her back..."

"Very well," Andre responded, nodding. "The only thing capable of curing this level of petrification... is the horn of a unicorn."

"U-unicorn, right, sounds simple enough... So, um... where would we find one?" asked Cass.

"I... have absolutely no idea," Andre confessed. "But historically, many incarnations of this castle have contained vast gardens. If a unicorn might be found anywhere within these walls, I would imagine that it would be there."

"Well, then we'd better get going if we want to find it in time," Cass said as she made her way through the door, hoisting Blanche's significantly heftier frame on her back. Another connecting hallway soon brought them to a vast interlocking network of ivy-covered walls and strange, dangerous-looking plantlife of myriad sizes and colors.

"Huh. This is... suspiciously convenient," Cass noted as she strained to keep Blanche stable.

"Think upon Death's words. To them, we are some sort of sick show. Perhaps they are not yet ready to have Blanche removed from the equation. In that case, if they planned for her current predicament, they would have planned for the means to remedy it," Andre explained. "But you realize that the murder or even the mere injury of a unicorn is a heavy sin to bear, do you not?"

"It sounds pretty awful, but... I've done worse things for worse reasons," Cass confessed.

"What... do you mean, exactly...?"

"I mean, all that 'American government dog' stuff you were on about earlier? It wasn't entirely wrong," she explained as she tossed daggers into the screaming, shark-toothed mandragora creatures that clawed along the ground towards them, their wooden skin splintering with each strike. "I've transferred money to and from Central American drug cartels. I've shaken the hands of leaders that were drenched with the blood of their own people, and why? So America can maintain its footholds in its decades-long pissing contest with the Soviets? You've got every right to judge me, Andre. I'm exactly everything you feared I was."

Andre silently contemplated her words as he slashed apart a row of thick vines concealing a secret passage. As they crawled through, he began to speak up once more. "Each person must sacrifice something for that in which they believe. At times, it is one's own values. The world is gripped with a fear the likes of which has never been seen before the climax of the second Great War. It is difficult for any to say when the next nuclear warhead will be launched, for what reason, or from where it will come. For this reason, many nations, for better or for worse, are enduring unsavory partnerships. Though I am loathe to admit it... my own hands have been tainted by this Cold War, as well."

"Tainted?"

Andre pushed a door open, leading into a topiary labyrinth. "I was practically raised by the Vatican. When I turned twenty, they sent me on a mission to aid war orphans along the outskirts of the Ho Chi Minh Trail. I had gathered up no small number of them and tried to lead them to the nearest American military outpost in South Vietnam. I thought they would be safe there, but before we could even approach one..."

"Operation Tiger Hound..." Cass said to herself.

"The children panicked... They scattered away from me... I could only protect a small number of them when the bombs fell... And when the ones I had saved thought that the way was clear, they ran out to see the bodies of their friends... It didn't take long for them to be located by American soldiers... I-I saw an abandoned assault rifle by my feet... It went against everything I had ever been taught, but if I hadn't done something...!"

Cass pulled close to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "You did it to protect those children..."

"No," Andre objected. "By the time I had made the decision to pick up the gun, the children were already dead... At that moment, it wasn't protection, nor was it self-defense... It was bitter, sinful vengeance... I scarcely recall how I even survived, but perhaps it might have been better had I not... Upon my return to Rome, I was excommunicated from the church... That was when I emigrated to Romania. By then, the Belmont legacy was all that I had left..."

Cass brushed his hair away and planted a small kiss on the back of his neck. "I'm glad that you survived... You have a good heart, Andre..."

Andre's face turned nearly the same shade as his hair. "You... certainly seem generous with your kisses..." he nervously observed.

"Well... my mother always taught me that a kiss is something you give to someone you care for... I don't let people in easily, but something about Blanche grew on me really quickly. I guess... I'm starting to feel the same about you..."

Andre turned about to face her, trying to mask his embarrassment. "For an agent of the CIA to so quickly trust a murderer of their fellow countrymen is... unwise..."

Cass shook her head. "I don't trust you as a CIA agent. I trust you as a Morris, as a person, and... as a friend..."

Andre smiled at her. "Friend, is it...? But Cassandra... I have seen how Blanche looks at you, and jumps to your aid at a moment's notice... Is she merely a friend to you?"

Cass looked back at Blanche, whose weight on her back she had nearly stopped noticing. "We haven't been with each other nearly long enough to be anything else. My first impression was that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with her. Now, though? ...Well, I guess there's some feelings Mom would probably describe as 'un-Christian.' Take that as you will."

Andre sighed. "Bad news for any other would-be suitors, I suppose."

"Hey, it's not like I _belong_ to anyone. Well, I guess technically, I belong to the US government, but we have an understanding," joked Cass.

"Don't take too much stock in that presumption," Andre warned. "You've written them a check that they can cash at the least convenient possible moment if they so choose, and in my experience, they often do."

"Really not past the CIA thing, are you?" Cass asked, frustrated.

"Cassandra, I respect you. I believe with absolute certainty that you joined that organization for entirely noble reasons, but even so, I cannot bring myself to trust the government that you serve."

"Well, I guess that's about the best I can expect," she resigned as they entered a large clearing in the center of the maze. In the distance, they could see a small white unicorn with a golden horn trapped behind a cage of thick vines. In the center, a pale, nude woman with ash brown hair seemed to be emerging from a flower bud in the ground, covering her chest with her arms.

"Help... me..." she sorrowfully beckoned.

Cass began to approach when Andre grabbed her arm. "I've heard of this... Do you recall the mandragorae we fought off earlier? This is what happens when one that consumes human blood grows to adulthood... An 'alraune,' as they are known... The woman you see before you is little more than a vestigial limb for a horrific monster lying beneath the ground upon which we walk."

The woman started to chuckle, which then slowly evolved into a cackle. "You aren't the idiots I thought you were! Oh, but one little thing: If you think you're safe because you're more than three meters away from my bud, I've got a bit of unwelcome news for you: I'm not beneath you. _You're inside me!_ "

Thick topiary closed off the route behind them, and the bud containing the alraune's human form slithered up into the air as the ground around them began to collapse. Cass immediately grabbed Andre's hand and snagged her whip around the stalk supporting the bud. Below them was a pool of digestive acids. As she tried to pull them up, her grip began to slip from the combined weight of Andre and Blanche's petrified form.

"Let me go, Cassandra!" Andre yelled. "You cannot defeat Dracula without the power of a Lecarde!"

"Shut up! I'm not about to lose anyone!" Cass shouted back. "Cassandra Bethany Morris is no quitter... And I'm sure as hell not letting the Belmont legacy end here...!"

Struggling, she lifted Andre up with one arm. When he had enough leverage, he leaped up to the stalk, clinging to it. With a swing, Cass bounded off of a thin wall of vines supporting the faux ground above her and elevated herself and Blanche up to the top of the bud. The alraune called forth thorny stems from the walls to attack her, but they were torn apart by the force of the Vampire Killer in one flowing, controlled motion. As she landed, Cass grabbed the alraune's humanoid component by the throat, grinning. It seemed to have panic in its eyes.

"What's the matter? This is just a vestigial limb, right? It's like having an appendix taken out. You'll barely even notice it's gone, right? So come on! Sparing this thing can't possibly be worth letting me live. Unless, of course, you want us to think it's a lot less important than it really is!"

"D-...DIE...!" the creature croaked out as it repeated its last attack. This time, Cass let go of her throat and dropped down onto the bud's stem at the last second. The momentum of the thorny appendages pierced the humanoid component through the chest. Its eyes rolled up as the entire maze around them convulsed wildly. The vines that trapped the unicorn fell apart, and as the stem began to droop, Cass and Andre jumped off toward it.

Andre grabbed the unicorn and lifted it up with a grunt as they escaped from the collapsing mass of flowers and leaves. After a significant run, they found a light at the end of the maze and jumped through it. They found themselves in a massive, empty chamber with a large mound of indistinguishable dead plant life at the bottom.

Panting, Andre let go of the unicorn. "How in the world have you been running around and flipping about while carrying her?! In her stone form, she must weigh ten times what this beast does!"

Cass set Blanche down, sighing. "She ain't heavy, she's my Blanche." She then looked over at the unicorn, frowning. "Oh... I'm sorry, little guy... You're awfully cute, and I feel really bad about this, but I need to save my friend..."

The unicorn approached her and nuzzled her leg, its golden horn glowing brightly. "Wait, you may not have need to..." Andre observed. Slowly, the unicorn turned around and touched its glowing horn to Blanche's body. Bright cracks tore across her rocky frame, and in a flash of light, the stone dissipated from her entirely.

"And another thing-!" Blanche yelled, as though continuing from where she had left off. She couldn't keep a straight face as she said it, though, and started laughing. "Sorry, heh heh, I was conscious for the whole thing! Just thought that'd be funny."

"BLANCHE!" Cass threw her arms around Blanche and stole a kiss from her lips. Blanche melted into the kiss, blushing heavily. As Andre cleared his throat, Cass pulled herself away, her own face having taken on an interesting new shade of red.

"I, uh... I missed ya too, Cass..." Blanche said, feeling light-headed. "But how'd ya convince li'l mono-horn here to heal me? Unicorns're only supposed to offer their power to chaste maidens. Unless... _No way! Cass?!_ "

Cass turned away, her face having somehow found a way to trump the previous shade of red. "I-it's not that weird, is it?!" she exclaimed, flustered.

Blanche slapped her knees as she laughed. "This is rich! Kissy Cassie's never gotten any! Well, hey, keep havin' them un-Christian thoughts about me and maybe we can fix that!"

Cass turned around and stamped her foot. "Hmph! See if I help the next time you get turned to stone!"

Blanche wiped away the tears that had escaped from her eyes as she laughed, catching her breath. "Okay, okay, it's fine. No need to be ashamed of it. It's just weird to think of you bein' so innocent an' all."

Cass' skin began to fade back into its normal shade as she exhaled. "You know, that seems like sort of a weird criterion for innocence." She turned to the unicorn, looking down at it. "So, even if I were someone who'd killed a million innocent people or tortured babies, as long as I've never done the horizontal tango before, I'm good by you?" The unicorn nodded in response. "You have got some really screwed-up priorities," Cass informed it. The unicorn turned away and trotted off into a gallop, seeming to fade into mid-air as it picked up speed.

"That's right, just keep dodging the issue, ya wuss!" Blanche yelled after it.

"Blanche, please don't antagonize the mythical creature," Andre requested, cradling his face in his hand.

"Well, he started it!"


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Cass, Blanche, and Andre wandered about, seeking out their next destination, when they heard the sound of pained moans coming from behind a door. Cass turned to face it, listening closer.

"Sounds like it's coming from a few floors down," Blanche pointed out. "Kinda the opposite direction we're tryin' to go here."

"This is true," Andre acknowledged. "However, if he has innocents trapped down here, we cannot turn a blind eye to them."

Cass nodded. "Aside from that, we may be able to figure out just who's brought Mr. Tall, Dark, & Bloodthirsty back to the waking world."

Blanche sighed."Well, seems to me it won't matter much if we take out the undead man of the hour, but clearly, we're two to one here. So sure, let's go _towards_ the horrifying noises."

Cass opened the door, and cautiously, they traversed down a wooden spiral staircase. Each step creaked as they made their way to the bottom.

"Well, whatever's down here, I guarantee it knows we're comin'," Blanche whispered.

On their approach to the final step, what came into view froze them in place. It seemed to be a vast library, but the granite floor was stained with blood, and each wall not occupied by rows of books seemed to have malnourished, wailing human beings shackled to the wall. Blanche's skin went pale. She turned around and vomited into the corner.

"What the hell is going on here...?" Cass wondered.

"These are not victims of the Count," Andre observed as he looked about. "They are nearly emaciated, but show no bite marks. Vampires prefer healthy, lively prey. Something this twisted could only be the work of man..."

A withered voice suddenly spoke from the crowd. "Andre... Îngerul meu..."

Andre ran over to the source of the sound. A young man with shoulder-length wispy, white hair sat there, looking up at him with dark bags under his bloodshot hazel eyes.

"Dumitru...!" Andre knelt down to face him. "What have they done to you...?"

"You... know him...?" Cass asked nervously.

"He is Dumitru Sala... When I arrived in Romania without one leu to my name, he helped me... Gave me a place to live, food to eat... He showed me more kindness than anyone ever had, but one day, he disappeared... I had no idea..."

Andre reached his hand to Dumitru's face, small tears trailing from his eyes. He leaned in and gave him a kiss on the lips. Cass looked away, flushing lightly. Andre then took out a cross and slashed at the chains binding him.

"Come with me, Dumitru... You and your countrymen will be safe with us..." Andre said, trying to compose himself.

Dumitru shook his head vehemently. "N-no... If we leave... If we are allowed to roam the streets... we will endanger many more comrades! Something... is happening to me, Andre...! I was injected with something... All of them have been, too..."

Cass took out a small camera and tried to line up a shot of as many prisoners as she could. "Once I show this to the CIA, I know they'll launch an investigation-"

The sound of a gunshot rang through the library, and the camera shattered apart in Cass' hands. She turned around immediately, readying her whip. From the shadows emerged the familiar face of Felix Vladimirescu, holding a smoking gun.

"Now, now, we cannot have you stirring up any international incidents here, Ms. Morris," he said with a smug smile on his face.

"Felix!" Cass yelled. "What is all this?! Were you the one who revived Dracula?!"

Felix let out a loud, bellowing laugh. "Quicker on the uptake than I thought. You see, the master is quite irate with your father, but due to his... recent passing, Lord Dracula is more than willing to accept his daughter's life as retribution. Having the last of the Lecarde and Belmont bloodlines here is simply... What do you Americans say? 'Icing on the cakes?'"

Cass growled beneath her breath. "Bastard... If Ceaușescu knew...!"

Felix chuckled to himself. " _If_ he knew? Look around you. You may see innocent victims, but Ceaușescu? He sees dissidents, political opponents, protesters. I promised him the means to be rid of them, and he asked no questions. It was I who suggested to him that if we resurrected the Dark Count, we could seek aid from America and establish an alliance that would give us a position of power in our dealings with Brezhnev. I even gave him the name of the agent to request: One Agent Cassandra Morris."

Blanche wiped her mouth, turning around to face him. Though her throat felt like it was burning, she decided to speak up. "Ain't Draccy gonna be pissed off about you usin' him for political favors...?"

Felix shook his head. "My dear, I fear you have it all wrong. I am not using Lord Dracula. I am using Ceaușescu's pig-headedness as a means to bring this world's rightful ruler back into power. East or West, capitalist or communist... Do you not see? None of it will matter when we are all under the shadow of the one worthy leader in this diseased world!"

Blanche drew her gun on him, but Felix held up a single hand. "Now, now, what would your superiors say if you were responsible for the death of a representative from the Romanian government? On the off-chance that you survive this night, you would spend your entire lives either in prison or self-imposed exile, like this poor excuse for a Belmont you have brought with you."

Shaking with fury, Blanche holstered her gun. Cass approached him and glared directly into his eyes. "I swear on my life that I won't let you get away with _any_ of this!"

Felix stepped back, being somewhat shaken by this. "A-awfully courageous for someone in your position, are you not?"

"Not at all. I just know that if you took the pleasure of killing any of us away from your master, he would be furious with you. He'd punish you in ways that would never end, even after your death. Frankly, I'm almost curious enough to see it that I'd let you."

"I don't doubt it," Felix said with a smirk, "but I do not have the time to ponder such hypotheticals. After all, I must entertain my master." He lifted his hand and snapped his fingers. The shackles holding the prisoners fell loose, and instinctively, they all approached Dumitru, who was frozen in place.

"Andre... Lubirea mea... Alerga...! Run!"

The other prisoners' bodies began to merge into his, forming into a titanic humanoid abomination. Its amalgamated frame was disjointed by arrays of knees, elbows, hands, feet, and heads poking out from every surface. Dumitru seemed to be the basis for its face, but it was deformed by the bodies and faces of the other victims. They all spoke in unison as they swung down to strike Andre.

 _"CAN'T... CONTROL...! ANDRE...! KILL ME...!"_

"I can't!" Andre yelled as he dodged away. "I-I can fix this! I can save you, Dumitru! I can save all of you!"

 _"IT IS... TOO... LATE... WE ARE... ONE...! WE WILL... NEVER... SEPARATE...! WE WILL... ALWAYS... ATTACK...! WE... ARE... NOT... SSSAAAFFFE!"_

Felix laughed as he exited the dark chamber. Cass stood frozen, terrified by his creation and all the lives it had destroyed. Blanche ran to her side.

"Cass! Use the whip! It's the only way to stop this!" she cried.

"But if I do, I'll-"

"N-no," Andre interrupted. "Without its true power unleashed, the Vampire Killer cannot do enough to end this... I... I must be the one... Dumitru... I love you...!"

He took his entire pouch of sacred ash and tossed it at the unfortunate creature with his eyes closed. The bag tore apart on contact and the ash sprayed out all across its tremendous body. Its outer skin sizzled, and it collapsed to the ground, screaming. Andre fell to his knees, choking back tears. As the creature began to dissolve into dust, the last thing he saw was Dumitru's face.

"I love you... too... Andre..." he said with a smile as he disappeared forever...

Andre got back up to his feet, looking down at the gigantic mound of ashes that were once Romanian people whose only crime was a desire for peace and security. He turned around and slammed his fist against a wall, crying out loud as he punctuated each curse with another punch.

"DAMN VLADIMIRESCU! DAMN DRACULA! DAMN CASTLEVANIA! DAMN ROMANIA! DAMN AMERICA! DAMN THE SOVIETS! DAMN CEAUŞESCU! DAMN NIXON! DAMN BREZHNEV! DAMN ME! _DAMN IT ALL!_ "

Cass swallowed hard. Though she had been deeply affected just by the sight of what had transpired before her, she knew that what Andre was going through must have felt thousands of times worse. Blanche, too, was at a loss for words. Finally, Andre spoke up again.

"I know there will be consequences if either of you kill Felix Vladimirescu... but if he meets his end by a Romanian citizen, that is out of your hands... I will take the justice so rightly deserved by Dumitru and his comrades, and pay it unto Felix ten-thousand-fold...!" As he turned around, one book in the library stood out to him. A copy of the Holy Bible sat between books on alchemy and sorcery. It seemed to have a nearly unearthly glow to it. He walked forward and grabbed it from the shelf. "Though I know not what possessed you to keep the scriptures that harm your master in this pit of sin, it will be your undoing. I shall take the good book as my guide and serve as your personal escort to your rightful place in Hell!"

They walked straight through the library in the direction Felix had escaped. Though many malicious creatures lurked in its shadows, they remained stationary out of fear for the raw anger emanating from the group.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The three slayers climbed the stairs up from the underground library. Though they were leaving, the horror and sorrow they had experienced there stubbornly stuck with them. After a long period of silence, Blanche spoke up.

"B-boy, uh... too bad ol' Drac's never heard of a little invention called the elevator, huh?" she nervously quipped. Cass grabbed her hand, squeezing it firmly.

"Blanche... I know why you're doing this, but... it's not the time..."

"I know..." Blanche said, defeated.

Andre sighed. "It is alright, Cassandra. It is her nature to seek levity for scenarios in which it is direly needed."

Blanche blinked, dumbfounded. "Are you... givin' me permission to toss quips around, even after... all that...?"

Andre looked back at her, forcing a smile. "The fact of the matter is, I am welcoming it! Give us the best that you have!"

Cass frowned. She didn't like where this was going...

As they reached the top of the stairs and entered another hallway, Andre accidentally tripped over the doorway and fell into the wall, which cracked on impact.

"Wow, thanks, Andre! I knew ya were bein' generous lettin' me joke around, but it ain't even been five minutes 'n' you've given me pages of material!" Blanche joked.

Andre laughed raucously, picking himself up. "Yes, I was quite clumsy, wasn't I? How could such a fool even hope to protect their loved ones?"

Blanche winced. "A-Andre, I think you're kinda missing the point of 'good-natured ribbing' here..."

"Ah, yes, my apologies... How could I be so _stupid?!_ " He punched the wall in frustration, cracking it open further to reveal a large, freshly-cooked turkey behind it.

"...A-A turkey!" Blanche exclaimed, trying to gloss over his reaction. "L-look at how ridiculous that is! Who the hell bakes a fresh turkey just to hide it behind a wall?! And what, is Dracula eatin' the turkey? Was it for the Were-Minotaur? Like, who even cooked it?"

Andre let out a hollow chuckle, trying to recover from his outburst. "It is quite absurd, is it not? Well, regardless of the reason for its presence here, I suppose we could all use a bit of nourishment."

"Hey, I'm in if you are," Blanche claimed.

"You're serious?" Cass interjected. "You're gonna eat the wall turkey? The turkey that was in the wall of Dracula's Castle? Turkey that could have mold or spiders or could be poisoned or-"

She looked up and saw that Andre and Blanche were both voraciously shoving turkey legs into their mouths. "Nah, iff good!" Blanche said with her mouth full of meat, bits of it flying out as she spoke.

Cass sighed. "I don't even like the white meat... Then again, I guess I'm hungry enough not to care." She tore off a chunk of meat and popped it into her mouth, making pained expressions as she chewed.

Blanche went to her side, concerned. "Is the white meat poisoned?!"

Cass shook her head. "Just _dry_..."

The hallway soon took them to what seemed to be the lobby of a grand theater. Their eyes wandered, taking in the sights. Suddenly, a bone flying from seemingly out of nowhere struck Blanche in the head. "OW!" She looked up and saw several skeletons walking backwards up the stairs to the balcony area, each tossing femurs in the trio's direction.

"Where'd they even get all those femurs?! Was there a sale or somethin'?!" Blanche yelled as they ran, dodging the attacks.

"A sale! Ha! Where would one buy such a thing, and how would a skeleton pay for it?!" Andre cheerily questioned as he tossed crosses upwards to demolish them. Cass simply rolled her eyes, her whip tearing through several other calcified foes.

"And why were they walking backwards, anyway? You'd think they'd wanna get closer to their targets," Blanche observed as they reached the top of the stairs.

"It's probably an aiming mechanism," Cass explained, frustrated. "Everyone who uses a ranged weapon of any sort has one, so it's not too surprising that they would, too."

"Aiming mechanism!" Andre repeated, laughing. "That is rich!"

"Oh, come on! You don't even know what you're laughing at anymore!" Cass yelled.

Blanche sidled closely to her and leaned in to whisper. "Does it really matter? If it's helping him get past you-know-what, I say we let him laugh."

"But it's not! ...Is it, Andre?" Cass asked.

Andre stopped dead in his tracks. "Before that incident, the two of you always found light, even in the darkness... I may have seemed frustrated and annoyed by it, but in truth, being around you was a happier time for me than I had known ever since _he_ went missing... Is it wrong for me to wish for such happiness again...?"

Cass shook her head. "There's nothing wrong with wanting to be happy... but it's dangerous to try to _force_ yourself to be happy! You're just cramming one emotion down on top of another, not realizing that it doesn't get _rid_ of the other one!"

Andre turned around, tears streaming down his face as he smiled. "Cassandra, I am happy! Can't you see that I'm as chipper as a schoolgirl?!" He ran off ahead of them, and Cass slapped her own forehead with the palm of her hand.

Blanche tried to keep up with Cass as they ran after Andre. "Cass, I'm sorry... I really thought I was helpin' him..."

"I know, I know! For now, let's just focus on making sure he doesn't do anything stupid!"

When they made it through the doorway to a balcony overlooking a grand stage, they were greeted to the sight of Andre being embraced by a scantily-clad incubus with a face identical to that of a more lively, healthy Dumitru.

"Poor soul..." he said to him in Dumitru's voice. "You've endured so much suffering, and now your so-called 'friend' will not even permit you one bit of happiness... How cruel... Come, my beloved... Allow me to heal your wounded heart..."

"Dumitru..." Andre said, shaking. "I thought that you w-were... I... I have missed you so..."

The incubus leaned in to kiss him, but stopped suddenly when he heard Cass' voice cry out from the balcony, "Andre, stop! He's not Dumitru!"

"What a pain... Deal with them, won't you, Harlequin?" the incubus said, snapping his fingers. An object appearing similar to a large red rubber ball materialized out of the ceiling above Cass and Blanche. As it dropped down, it crushed the balcony beneath them. Blanche clung to Cass, screaming as they fell. Thinking quickly, Cass snagged her whip around a light fixture on the wall, then slowly loosened it to provide them a steady descent.

As Blanche let go, she keeled over, catching her breath. "What is with the weight of everything around here?! I can lift a halberd like a toothpick, but a rubber ball can smash through a floor?! What, do physics mean nothin' here?!"

A man in a green and red checkered suit landed atop the ball. His shoes were white with large red bows, and he wore gloves and a clown-like mask with a sickening grin on it. He began to speak in an irritatingly pitchy voice. "My, my, I've never seen little girls with such _dour_ attitudes before! It seems to me that you need to learn how to have a little _fun!_ Your acquaintance over there was the sourest sourpuss I've ever seen, but even he's embraced the spirit of good humor!" He laid down on his side as the ball continued to bounce. "And a few other things, if you catch my drift."

As the incubus made out with Andre, they could see Andre's skin becoming paler. Growling, Cass tossed a dagger into the ball, popping it. The harlequin let out a shrill, annoying cry as he landed on his head. Cass ran to the stage, jumping up onto it.

"Andre Belmont, quit running away from reality right now! This isn't Dumitru! _Dumitru is dead!_ I know it hurts, and I know it's easier to distract yourself from it, but if you do, you'll never get past it! If you do, you can never pay Felix back for what he did!"

Andre's eyes snapped open. Struggling, he pushed the incubus away in a violent coughing fit. He looked up at him with a deep glare. "To impersonate such a pure and beautiful creature to feed upon my weakness... Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!" He tossed a cross that tore into the creature's chest, but remained stuck there.

The incubus snarled. "Very clever! But I've devoured too much of your energy to fall prey to such weak attacks, you fool!"

"Then it's a good thing he's not alone," Cass replied as she lashed the Vampire Killer straight through his neck. With a shocked expression, his body dissolved into dust.

As the harlequin got to his feet, his mask seemed to shift into one with an angry scowl. His voice became more scratchy and deep as he leapt up towards the stage. " _Burn in hell, you brats!_ "

He fell just short of the stage as a bullet pierced his leg, burning from an eruption of holy water. He looked back to see Blanche holstering her gun. "They ain't your playmates, clown!" she yelled, readying her halberd. "'Fraid you gotta deal with me!"

Laughing in his regular goofy voice, the harlequin materialized six multicolored balls in his hands and began to juggle them. "Alright, then perhaps you'll indugle me in a game! The red ball will burn whatever it touches! The purple ball contains a highly potent toxin! The yel-"

Blanche's halberd swept through his midsection, and like the incubus before him, his entire body began crumbling to dust. His mask changed to a long frown with a single teardrop before it, too, disintegrated.

"I can't stand guys who never shut up about their hobbies," she said, once again sheathing her weapon.

Andre slumped down onto the ground, looking up at the catwalks and rafters above him. "I'm sorry... I thought that if I allowed myself to feel all that anger and pain, I would drag you down into it with me... I... wanted to see your smiles again..." He blushed at admitting something so embarrassing.

"Andre, we'll be fine," Cass told him. "I've been through too much in my life to let something like that get me down for good, and Blanche is... well, Blanche. I know you've dedicated your life to helping others, but you need to help yourself now and then, too. And sometimes, that means letting yourself feel really horrible for a while so you don't have to feel kind of horrible for the rest of your life."

"I... suppose that makes some amount of sense," Andre said, scratching his head.

"So, how do you feel?" Cass asked.

"Horrible... I feel as though I want to scream and cry and tear this entire castle apart."

Cass chuckled lightly. "We're already working on one of those, but in the meantime, maybe this is a good opportunity to get the other two out of your system..."

Andre tilted his head back and let out a loud wail, thick tears streaming down his red face. Blanche got up on stage with them, grabbing Cass' arm.

"Think he's gonna be alright?" she asked.

"I think he'll get there," answered Cass.

Andre sat up once his eyes had dried out. Cass got down on her knees and wrapped her arms around him, kissing him on the lips. He let out a small moan as he kissed her back. Blanche, wrapped up in the moment, planted small pecks along both of their necks...

Several hours passed, and Cass woke up in the backstage dressing room. She found herself in a pile with Blanche and Andre, all three in various stages of undress. The other two were still asleep. Cass blushed as steamy memories flashed through her mind. "Maybe I'm just imagining it all," she said to herself. Cautiously, she looked out the door. The unicorn they had encountered earlier was standing there. It shook its head in disappointment, then turned and galloped away into the darkness.

"Shit..."


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

By the morning light, the three slayers traversed a bridge leading out to the central tower of the castle. Blanche had a hop in her step, and Andre, who had been quite beside himself, seemed somehow reinvigorated. Cass, however, was flustered and seemingly embarrassed every time she looked at the two of them.

"What're you so down in the dumps about?" Blanche asked. "It's a bright, beautiful day, meaning we'll probably get the jump on the old Lord of the Night. Besides, he sure didn't bring us down _last_ night, did he?"

Cass groaned. "Last night was a major breach of protocol and basic professional ethics. I could be tossed behind bars because of this whole dumb assignment, or at the very least discharged from service. I don't even know what I was thinking... I mean, this isn't how Mother raised me! _If_ I wound up giving myself to someone, it was supposed to be _one man_ I'd gotten to know for a good long time, not... a _three-way_ with two people I've barely known for a weekend! I mean, Andre, you were raised Catholic, weren't you? How can you be so calm about this?"

Andre turned to her, smiling. "I was excommunicated, remember?" Cass rolled her eyes.

"Excuse you, but who was makin' all the moves last night?" Blanche asked. "The kisses, the embraces... You weren't no victim, babe. You were the match that lit the fire."

Cass looked down, blushing heavily. "Look... This mission's made me a lot more aware of my own mortality than any other I've been on. I think I was acting on the nagging thought in the back of my head that if I don't end up leaving here alive, I don't want to have any regrets. I... kind of lost sight of the possibility of living through this with a whole bunch of _new_ regrets..."

"But that does essentially mean that you were doing what felt right at the time, does it not?" Andre questioned.

"I... I guess I was, wasn't I?" Cass said to herself. "Yeah! And you know what? It felt really damn good!"

"Exactly!" Blanche exclaimed, wrapping an arm around Cass' neck and kissing her cheek. "After all, there's a chance we'll all hafta live in exile together after Andre kicks Felix's ass, so better to get acquainted sooner than later. Besides, sulky brooding's _his_ job, and we all know what happens when he slacks off on that."

Andre chuckled to himself. "Only when I hold everything in. But today, I must confess to feeling... genuinely optimistic."

Blanche wrapped her other arm around Andre's neck, giggling. "I think you're the only guy I know who can apologize for bein' happy!"

The three began to laugh out loud. Their laughter was interrupted, however, when the bridge began to collapse behind them.

"We should run, right?" Blanche said, letting go.

"Do you think?!" Cass yelled as she promptly picked up speed. Blanche and Andre ran along with her, working their legs as fast as they could. As they ran, they were swarmed by Medusa/Gorgon heads and stone gargoyles, which Cass whipped at with panicked desperation. Blanche swung her halberd at anything that approached her, while Andre tossed crosses at the foes ahead. Finally, they made it through the door of the central tower, slamming it shut behind them as they collapsed into a pile.

"I thought this place'd be a little less active in the daytime..." Blanche complained.

"For all we know, it is," Cass exhaustedly speculated. "Let's consider the fact that we're still alive and take that for what it's worth."

"Not all of Dracula's minions are harmed by the light of day," Andre observed. "That would, after all, leave him quite vulnerable."

"Exactly correct," spoke a familiar, deep voice from the shadows of the large, ornate chamber they found themselves in. The familiar form of Felix Vladimirescu stepped forth, now garbed in a black cloak and dark purple vestments. "And those of us who can walk in the daylight have no intention of allowing your lot to progress any further."

Andre immediately jumped to his feet, his eyes filled with rage. " _Vladimirescu!_ " he shouted.

Cass and Blanche picked themselves up. "Go for it, Andre!" Cass said. "Nobody here's gonna shed any tears for this creep!"

Felix laughed out loud. "Not for me, but perhaps for yourselves? You see, I have taken the liberty of contacting Nicolae. Regardless of the outcome here, he has been informed that if I do not return, it will be your doing, Agent Morris. Not yours alone, of course. Your accomplices will be implicated, as well. It matters little, as even should I die here, Lord Dracula will feast upon your blood and reign for eternity. But we politicians do love to cover all of our bases."

Andre, whose hand had been resting on his crosses, let it down. He was visibly seething with rage.

Cass frowned. "Andre... Look, I'll be alright. Taking him down is more important than whatever could happen to me."

"No... I cannot allow any others I care for to suffer. Cassandra, Blanche... For your sakes, I refuse to end Vladimirescu's life, regardless of the fate that he has earned for himself..."

Felix smirked. "A very wise and benevolent decision, Belmont. One that I am certain not everyone could make. Of course... I suppose physical intimacy does make the heart grow fonder."

Blanche growled. "You... Were you peepin'?!"

He gave a careless shrug. "Dracula and Death see all that transpires within their walls. It was their decision to leave you be last night. They were curious to see how such an experience would affect your bonds. The seeds of jealousy have been planted in your hearts, and none of us even had to do anything to put them there. What a waste of an incubus... After all, you've done a fine job corrupting each other."

"Shut your damn mouth!" Cass yelled. "Not that it's any of your business, but we did what felt right and don't have any regrets!"

"Oh, I'm certain," Felix said with a smirk. "I'm certain each affectionate kiss between any two of you doesn't boil a pit of rage within the hypotenuse. But in _his_ case, you all must be extraordinarily suspect. Who were you thinking of when you indulged in their bodies, Belmont? Was it Morris? Or perhaps Lecarde? Or maybe..."

Andre immediately grabbed his cross. "I'm sorry... Even knowing the consequences-"

Cass and Blanche put their hands on his shoulders, seeming to speak in unison. " _Kick. His. ASS._ "

Nodding, Andre leaped towards Felix, tossing a cross at him. Felix jumped up into the air, floating with his arms spread out. He gave a devious laugh, snapping his fingers. "Let us not keep the lovers unoccupied, shall we?"

Two creatures rose up from dark portals in the floor. One seemed to be a man stitched together from the parts of various dead bodies, bolts in his neck keeping an electric current flowing through his large, muscular frame.

"Ugh! How cliché can you get?!" Cass yelled as she ran at it with her whip at the ready.

The other creature appeared to be the very same were-minotaur they had killed when they first entered the castle, but his eyes were milky-white, his fur listless and dead. " _Braaaaaaaaiiiiiiinssssss..._ " he growled.

"You bastard!" Blanche yelled. "You desecrated Were-Minotaur! Now he's a Zombie Were-Minotaur!"

"We kind of killed him in the first place!" Cass reminded her as she dodged her opponent's electrified punches.

" _They called me a monster! Ostracized me from civilized society! I say that society is the most despicable monster of all!_ " the re-animated creature yelled.

"Is that really what happened?" Cass asked, hesitant to attack.

"Well, the first time I wandered outside the castle, a man did offer me food and board free of charge, but I was so insulted by his pity that I crushed his skull. And then there were the orphans that picked flowers for me. That was nice and all, but I really preferred the sound of their bones snapping to the scent of flowers. Come to think of it, I just really like murder a lot."

"Glad I could help you reach this little breakthrough," Cass said as she wrapped the whip around his neck and slid under his legs, pulling him down to the ground behind her.

Blanche clashed halberds with the Zombie Were-Minotaur, noticing as she did that his attacks were notably lacking in energy. "What am I doing?" she asked herself. She smacked the halberd out of his hands, and when he looked over at it, she slashed the blade down between his neck and right shoulder. However, somehow it seemed not to even break the skin.

"Their bodies have been reinforced by dark magic!" Felix boasted. "Your pitiful strikes cannot hope to destroy-"

Andre jumped up and punched Felix in the nose. He was launched back against the wall, then fell to the ground. Blood poured from his nostrils as he glared up at Andre. As he struggled to his feet, Andre whipped out the Bible he had acquired from his library.

"Keeping the instrument of your destruction was careless, Vladimirescu, and it shall be your undoing!" Andre proclaimed. He began to chant as the Bible floated in front of him, glowing. He halted, however, as Felix once again began to laugh.

"You... truly are a fool... Do you really think that book has any power over me?" Felix gloated. "I would never have kept it if there were any chance of it bringing me harm."

"Then... why keep it at all?"

"Ha ha ha... Only a fool trusts a vampire implicitly. As I told you before, a politician covers all of his bases. Were Lord Dracula ever to turn against me, I needed something that could weaken him. A trump card, so to speak, in case our interests cease to align." Suddenly, an inky black portal opened directly beneath Felix's feet, and a pair of skeletal hands reached up to grab his legs. "WHAT?!"

Andre put the Bible away and crossed his arms. "It is as you said, Vladimirescu: Dracula and Death see all that happens within these castle walls. They must have suspected your treachery well before you openly admitted it within their earshot. And to think, this could have been avoided but for the power of one mere book."

Felix's eyes widened as the hands continued to drag him down. "You KNEW! You had this all figured out the moment you laid eyes on that book! How did you know that I would explain its purpose to you?!"

Andre got down on his knees, shooting a chilling look directly into his eyes. "Your alliance with Dracula, lording your political power over Cassandra, and the fact that you destroyed Dumitru and expected to live told me all that I needed to know about your 'superior intellect.' You have failed your dark lord in every possible way, Felix, and now you are paying the price for your failure."

Felix screamed as his head sank beneath the thick black cloud. Slowly, the portal closed behind him, his scream still echoing through the chamber. When Andre looked behind him, Cass and Blanche each tore through their opponents with a single strike, reducing their bodies to dust.

"Huh. I guess without Felix's magic, there wasn't much to them," Cass observed.

Blanche frowned down at the granulated pile that was once her foe. "So long, Were-Minotaur, my worthiest foe... I'll never forget you..."

Cass quirked a brow. "Don't you feel like maybe you're over-romanticizing this a bit just because you stole your weapon from him?"

Blanche looked solemnly out the window. "It's the spirit of the lancer, Cass. I don't expect you to understand." Cass came up behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist, kissing her ear. Blanche giggled, blushing lightly. "Okay, okay, I'm over it!"

Andre turned to face them. "About what he said... I did occasionally think of Dumitru when-"

"Of course you did," Cass said, letting go of Blanche. "You don't just get over someone the night they disappear from your life."

He smiled, his cheeks turning a light pink. "Well... it certainly wasn't as though I had to distract myself from either of _you_..."

Blanche leaned against the window. "Yeah, 'n' who cares what Felix says anyway? He was a dumb asshole who got himself killed."

"He certainly was the quintessential politician," Andre said. "He was so preoccupied keeping track of every possible angle that he failed to realize the corner he backed himself into."

A large pair of doors opened at the end of the chamber, leading to a wooden spiral staircase. They approached it and began to travel upwards.

"But man," Blanche said, "that dark magic stuff sure gets into people's heads. Can you believe a human being would actually do anything like that?"

"Magic is a tool when it comes down to it," Cass said. "Humans have proven over the course of millennia that if they can misuse a tool, they will. Doesn't matter if it's ancient spells or nuclear fission. Give it to a human and they can be more terrifying than any monster..."


End file.
